Mind Over Body

Last Thursday May 17^th, 2012 after a 13 day stay I got discharged from the hospital for the second time… My doctor determined me to be stable and I had reached the doctors’ goal of 32 weeks gestation. I was first admitted to the hospital and started bed rest at 26 weeks. So my doctors were quite happy about the success I had while on bed rest, being able to cook the babies to 32 weeks is good.

So when my doctor went to discharge me I told her I was scared to go home. She told me “you will do fine and you have received all the treatment available, so no point for you to be here, and even if your babies come today we have them at a point that we feel confident that they will thrive. Of course every day you can keep them inside is 2-3 less days they will have to spend in the NICU.”

My doctor explained to me that I would have doctors’ visits twice a week to continue to monitor our progress.

So this week I go to the doctor tomorrow and Friday. I am freaking out about tomorrow. Since I left the hospital I have been unable to get comfortable…everything hurts, it hurts a lot to walk because I have a heavy pressure in my vagina.

So I am nervous to what the doctor is going to say… how is my cervix doing? Am I dilated? How much longer do they think I have? The pressure thing scares me.

I am excited to find out how much the babies weigh and how many weeks gestation the babies are measuring for the most of my pregnancy they have been a little ahead.

The appointment is at 10:30 tomorrow… I am up late because it’s all I can think about. I am not ready for these babies to be born and I am soooooo not ready to be readmitted to the hospital.

I have been trying hard to tell myself and to believe “mind over body”… because when these babies are born, I want to see them and I want to hold them!

If they come to early and have to go to NICU… then I will not get to see them, I will not get to hold them… I will have to wait until they are determined stable and are in NICU… which could be many, many, many long depressing hours. L

Hoping for the best tomorrow! Mind over body, mind over body, mind over body, mind over body!