I started this blog to document my experience of my twin pregnancy and becoming a mother. I plan to continue this blog to the best of my ability once the twins’ arrive. Lately I have not talked much about my pregnancy experience. This is for a couple reasons, one not much has changed, and mostly because I am getting so uncomfortable so fast. I do not want my blog to be a wine and moan fest but I do want to document my experience.
I have been trying so hard not to complain because I do feel so completely blessed to be doing what I am doing. I did not expect this to be an easy task, but saying it is a hard task seems like such an understatement. It is impossible to express all the things I am feeling emotionally and physically but I am going to try because doing so helps me document and keep my sanity.
At any given moment of the day some part of my body aches and throbs. My hands and feet are swollen. I cannot wear any of my rings. Most days someone comments on how swollen my feet are (as if I haven’t noticed). I feel like I am going to pee on myself every time I stand up and do have to pee about every 45 minutes to an hour. My legs, back, shoulders, and vagina take turns aching and throbbing throughout the day. Heartburn is also a common part of my day. My breasts are already leaking. Someone tells me I look like I am about to PoP at least once a day. If I am not thinking about how I walk I waddle. I get out of breathe fast and sometimes by talking to fast or telling a long story – this happens a lot during teaching. I never know what I want to eat, I have little to no patience, I am slow to response and quick to forget, and I am not in control of many things… this is tough for a Type A control freak personality.
Sleep? I haven’t wanted to admit it, but I think it is part of the past. I am sleeping about 45 minutes to an hour at a time… waking up to pee or due to my hip throbbing from having all my weight resting on it. Switching sides to relieve my hips and getting up to pee are both challenging tasks because getting up out of the bed and rolling over is hard. I am like a turtle on my back.
Even though I am trying very hard not to complain, people can tell I am uncomfortable. People ask how I am feeling which is nice, I always say I am fine or I am good. Most of the time this is true, I am uncomfortable but it is something that I am getting use too because I know it’s not going away anytime soon. Then sometimes people call me out on it. Like tonight in my grad school class. My professor asked me if I was okay. I said “yes I am fine.” He said “you look like you are about to die.” The truth is after working all day sitting in a 3 hour night class does make me feel like I am about to die. My back was killing me and I had major heartburn. I guess my face and body language expressed my pain. Then after class I was walking to my car and a classmate drove by and stopped and said “Are you okay? Can I give you a ride to your car?” I said “I am good my car is right here.” I was so out of breathe from the hike to my car… I guess she could tell and wanted to help out.
I am 24 weeks on Thursday and at my last doctors visit my uterus was measuring around 30 weeks. A uterus carrying twins measures on average 6 – 8 weeks a head of your pregnancy week. So basically I have a longer uncomfortable (third trimester like) period due to it being twins.
I just wonder how I am going to deal with all of this 10 weeks from now. Especially with the way I feel and people’s comments like I look like I am about to POP. What are they going to say then?
This is my far the hardest thing I have ever done. I have so much respect for my mom and moms everywhere!
Xoxo,
Heather